inside my mind

there's so many things i want to write. the problems is none of them make senses. but well.. nothing i was wrote make any senses anyway. haha.

so i decide to post them now!



1. Blank Page

this is my dream. funny things, i keep dreaming when i am awake.


there was this man. came to me with a piece of paper on his hand and called me name.

Man (M): hey beb! look at this, what do you see?

Beby (B): umm? piece of paper?

M: what you see on it?

B: nothing, it's blank.

M: there's something beb, keep thinking.

B: i give up, what's on it?

M: there's light here. but there's no shadow. therefore, there's no form, there's no colors. and you're right, there's nothing. but you were wrong too, there's light here.


2. What If

these past few weeks, i've got many 'What if' feelings. about many things.

like after i crashed my car i keep thinking like, "what if i choose another way?"
when I speak my mind mindlessly and someone hurt, i keep thinking, "what if i keep these mouth closed?"
and this morning, when i can't decide to go to school or go to Otista, i ended up went no where. and i keep thinking, "what if i go to one of it instead stay at home watching a broken DVD?"

but today i read some words in calendar. its said something like this:

if you get some failure, a door closed and another open. but sometimes you see the closed door and regret it for too long, and make you missed the just opened one.

these words knock me like a hell. it stop my What If thought instantly.



meaningless for others. but i believe these thought made my life different than yesterday.